When to throw in the towel (or yoga mat).
I had another frustrating yoga practice a few weeks ago. I spent the hour trying to figure out why I have so much trouble with this instructor, if it was me or her, if I should stick it out or if it’s time for a breakup. I realized a few things that apply outside of that dark mirrored room while I was struggling to keep my focus on my practice:
1. If you only focus on the superstars, your average and below average performers may never improve. This instructor spends most of the class working with a few “pets” (who I’ve seen her spend time with outside of class coaching). She praises their every (advanced) pose. Meanwhile those of us who could benefit from small adjustments and easier versions of the poses are left to flail and fall on our own.
2. Small connections can go a long way. I’ve been going to this class weekly (sometimes twice a week) for about six months. I’ve introduced myself to the instructor before. Yet she never uses my name or addresses me individually in any way. She calls out many others “nice Alice, great improvement John…” and you can see Alice and John grow taller and more confident when praised. I felt unseen and disconnected from the class. My other instructor always makes eye contact with me before or after class, and calls out something I did well.
3. Personality matters. I’m not a very perky person. I don’t initiate a lot of high fives. I don’t want woo hoos when I’m running, much less in yoga. I fear this instructor and I just don’t mesh on the personality front. As a facilitator and coach I know to be aware of the personalities of the individuals I’m working with. I’m the one who needs to moderate my style to meet theirs in order to be successful. They are in my sessions to work on a specific topic or goal and should be able to focus on the matters at hand, rather than be distracted by any of my quirks. Similarly I want to practice quietly, as it appears many of my classmates do as well, and this instructor fails to pick up on the cues and tone down her bubbliness at 8 a.m.
I decided my frustrations outweighed the benefits of this instructor’s class, and I haven’t gone back in a few weeks. I’m thinking about trying it again soon to see if I can shift my perceptions and focus on small improvements as I miss my second (and third) class of the week. And if not, perhaps I’ll come to some more realizations of truths to apply outside the studio.